Ask a room of new managers what they find hardest about the job and feedback comes up every time. Not the big performance reviews, but the everyday moments. The report full of mistakes. The colleague who stayed late to get something over the line. The deadline that quietly slipped.
I recently worked with two new managers who’d both been putting off the same conversation. Members of their teams were regularly on their phones, watching YouTube on company time. It felt awkward to raise, so nothing was said.
Because it wasn’t nipped in the bud, it carried on, and new joiners started to notice and follow suit. What began as a couple of people’s habits was quietly becoming the team’s norm.
The fix wasn’t a big disciplinary conversation. It was a simple reset: making the expected standard clear to everyone. That gave both managers a fair starting point, so if it happened again, they could give specific feedback against a standard the whole team already knew.
Here’s what I say on every course: people are not mind readers. If you don’t tell them what’s working and what isn’t, they’ll keep doing exactly what they’re doing. As the leader, it’s our job to have these conversations.
Why we avoid it
Most managers don’t avoid feedback because they don’t care. They avoid it because they’re worried about damaging the relationship, getting the words wrong, or facing a reaction they can’t handle. So the conversation gets put off, and a small issue becomes a big one.
The irony is that good feedback usually strengthens relationships. People respect a manager who is fair, specific and direct, and they value knowing where they stand.
Praise counts too
Feedback isn’t only for fixing problems. Telling someone exactly what they did well, and why it mattered, makes it far more likely they’ll do it again. A passing “thanks, great job” rarely has the same effect as recognition that is specific and sincere.
How to give feedback with a simple structure
The managers who handle feedback well aren’t naturally confident. They’ve simply learned a reliable way to prepare and structure the conversation, so it stays focused on what happened rather than who someone is. And they’ve practised it.
One simple principle to start with: talk about behaviour, not personality. Someone can change what they did on Tuesday. It’s much harder to change who they are.
On our two-day Essential Management Skills course in London, managers learn a practical feedback model and practise it on real workplace scenarios, in a group of no more than eight. Our next course runs on 1 & 2 December. Find out more or call us on 0207 101 3619.
